There is research on music that it helps
someone’s heath. In this passage “Is Music a Good Tool for Health,” by
Elizabeth Scott there are several ways that music can help people with their health
issues. First of all, music can help cancer patients and children with
attention problems. For instance, music can help with brainwaves, concentration,
and alert thinking. Second, research has demonstrated that music helps
breathing and heart rate, someone would feel relax by listen to music. Also music
can help lowers depression anxiety.
I
agreed with this idea that “Music is good for the health.” In an outside experience
that everyone faces is going in an elevator. I notice that some elevator have
smooth relaxing music. This helps someone by relaxing them and by being patient
to get to their destination floor. For example, in a crowded elevator some
people feel Closter phobic. They panic and don’t have the patient to wait with
the people in the elevator with them. As researchers demonstrated music helps with
concentration that why most elevator have music in them to relax people in them.
From my
personal experience music has help me prevent my sleeping anxiety. Late at
night I sometimes have problems sleeping. Sometimes I would put on my head
phones and play soft music whenever I can’t sleep. For example, my neighborhood
late at nights I can hear very loud noise from the streets. This has distracted
me from going to sleep at nights and prevented me from sleeping. I would put on
my favorites songs to relax my mind and finally I can fall asleep.
Today everyone
have the benefits from music. Music has help people to relax, motivation, and
enjoying it by dancing. Around the world music has many different cultures.
Music is a useful tool that everyone should enjoy and benefit from.
The introduction needs work as it is abrupt and gets straight to the topic. There are also some grammar and editing issues, but overall this is a much improved draft with concrete examples for body paragraphs.
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